“How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”
Nina LaCour, Hold Still (via californiagirlwearingpearls)
Girl look at that body,
Girl look at that body,
Girl look at that body,
We should probably call the police who knows how long it’s been in the river.
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
C.G. Jung (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
the fool and the hermit
The fool: Something you’ve always wanted to try? I would love to swim alongside a humpback whale one day, that would be incredible.
The hermit: Favourite way to spend a day alone? (im going to answer this as if my anxiety didnt make it hard for me to leave the house alone) I’d probably drive down to the beach and have a swim in the sea if it was sunny and then wander around the cute shops in Falmouth :-) If it was cold weather I’d wrap up warm and go for a woodland walk and come home have a relaxing bath, do some yoga and cook myself a roast dinner.
empress: a woman you really admire? JK Rowling immediately springs to mind ofc :-) She inspires me to write, and be a better person. She has done so much for so many different charities, she’s a very generous woman.
Fool: Something you’ve always wanted to try? Skydiving - not sure if my nerves could take it though!
- The Fool: Something you've always wanted to try
- The Magician: Something you're very good at
- The High Priestess: One thing you wish you knew
- The Empress: A woman you really admire
- The Emperor: A man you really admire
- The Hierophant: Something you believe in
- The Lovers: A person who makes you very happy
- The Chariot: A prize or award you've won
- Strength: Something you struggle with
- The Hermit: Favourite way to spend a day alone
- The Wheel Of Fortune: Something you wish you could change
- Justice: A decision you wish you could do over
- The Hanged Man: A time when you wished someone would listen to you
- Death: Someone you really miss
- Temperance: Your ideal day
- The Devil: Who you talk to when you're dealing with big issues
- The Tower: Something that changed your life
- The Star: Someone you consider perfect
- The Moon: Something you fear
- The Sun: Your happiest memory
- Judgement: Your favourite song(s)
- The World: Your dream job
Growth and Image: Make up, Phases & Bullying
I have become so used to not wearing makeup everyday (apart from on very rare occasions), that it nows feels really weird if I do put some on. One day last week I thought I was looking particulary tired so I put on some bb cream and concealer but took it all off 5 mins later. It just feels so wrong and weird to wear any now, yet a couple of years ago I was wearing foundation, lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow etc. on a regular basis and felt vulnerable and naked going out with a bare face. Now its the opposite!! Funny how much we grow and change in short spaces of time. (I just want to stress I don’t think there is anything wrong with wearing as much makeup as you please, its all personal preference.) Personally I love going make up free now as it makes me feel fresh faced and honestly like I’m ready for anything, I dont feel like I’m hiding and its helped me to embrace my flaws and feel less insecure. Although I do remember what it was like when I first started going out completely make up free and I was so insecure, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye! It takes time and a lot of getting used to.
I also now feel more comfortable wearing whatever I please, I dont think this was well documented on here really but from 2011 onwards I went through a lot of phases and I was trying to “find myself”. In August 2011 I turned 19 and thats when it started really. I guess I was a late bloomer with the teenage phases cliché. Or perhaps it was a quarter life crisis as I was nearly at the end of my teens haha. The phases and identity crisis stopped a little while after my 21st birthday and I’ll be 22 next month :o Time flies when you get old ;) Believe it or not here are the very cliché styles and phases that I went through during those years: hippy, goth, 50’s pin up style, mori girl, preppy and there are probably more that I can’t remember. I just felt like I had to have a label, as if I had to belong to a group. All of this was more in my head than anything else, so for a while I really did think I was a goth on the inside… Lol I bought a few clothing items during each phase before I’d realise it wasn’t right for me and move on to the next one (thank god I never wasted too much money). I still have some hippy/boho esque clothing that I love and some beautiful 50’s style dresses etc. The problem was deeper than the clothing really, I just felt like I had no identity outside of being the anxious/shy girl so I thought if I became a goth for example people would refer to me as “the goth girl” instead of “the quiet girl”. Now thank heavens its no longer an issue for me, I wear what I like and I now know my taste in clothing much better as I’m not restricting myself to fit in with a stereotype. I’m also gradually learning to love myself as I used to really hate the way I looked, I was badly bullied (mostly for my looks) for 5 years. The bullying made me withdraw and become quieter and quieter- it was my defence mechanism. I wanted to fade away and for nobody to notice me. It also made me very anxious and I believe its a massive contributer to why I have anxiety and panic attacks now. Doom and gloom aside, I now actually pity the people that bullied me, it must be really awful and sad being a person that is capable of being so vile and cruel. I hope they are better people now though :-) I’m working on my confidence and making steady progress and my anxiety is gradually lessening. I believe that a lack of confidence and being insecure are very closely linked to anxiety.
I never usually write long posts like this but it really helps, and if you’ve actually read this far I applaud you haha
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”
Alan Wilson Watts (via thatkindofwoman)